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Back in Leon

June 22, 2011

So this post is a little late, but that’s ok. I’m back in Leon now which is nice,
since I get to spend time with my family here and get to work on the construction manuals
for FUPROSOMUNIC. It always seems when I sit down to these posts something inevitably comes out
but right now I’m not really sure what to say. Last night I went to see an Argentinean film with a friend
(I can’t stand that accent) and I’ve been doing a lot of office work. Our CPS friend Jeff came by for the weekend
as well which was a fun time. It’s weird to think there was a conference here for Immersion Trip-type Coordinators
from colleges all over the states. Sometimes I wonder how many American college interns have taken a job
a Nicaraguan could do, or how many of us interns will grow up to have big salaries and too many cars
but still be the cool parent in the neighborhood because we were socially aware once and had travelled to
a poor wild untamed country like Nicaragua and didn’t get killed. It also sucks that there is a tangible coolness level of the countries you go to, India, Africa are in, Latin America is making a comeback though
it was definitely what was poppin in the 80s. Then there are places that fall to the wayside, simply
because they aren’t cool or popular, or they do just well enough for themselves in the statistics that
they don’t need any help. Maybe I’m too cynical for my own good, at this point it definitely seems to a fault,
but I hate that it seems like people can be so sure that they are saving the world that they don’t even question
their own intentions or impact when it seems I am practically paralyzed by the fear that I’m doing this for some sort of twisted self-righteousness or that my presence has some sort of perpetuating power in the cogs
of the international hierarchy. I am looking at the sore ridden strays and emaciated horses and wondering what they would
do if they saw a dog or horse from the states. I mean, Luke (my dog) just had surgery this week. Such a ridiculous concept.
A dog receives surgery. But as ridiculous as that is, I love my dog (we’ve gone through some serious late night teenage angst together)
and I wouldn’t change that decision, but I wonder if the strays here would be jealous, or if they would attack Luke because he is
kind of a fat lazy loser who probably couldn’t defend himself. He could probably feed about 3 or 4 dogs for a day. Or
one of the horses my sister rides, big, muscular, and with strong personalities intact because they haven’t been whipped
or worked to the point of exhaustion. Or maybe they do, and I’m projecting my views on a country that I know nothing about
and probably will never know anything about. Ben

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